You have won, O Galilean

(via alaynabrianne)

yeah i imagine.

:D

:\ everything hurts, i wish i had someone here. Everyone is busy

Hahah, i dont blame you chris, those patches almost made me pass out :p

Fucking amazing week, goodnight tumblr:)

nataliebootlah:

okayfinethen2:

btdub. if youre following my shit. and i dont know you. get to know me. this is my fucking corner. not a public mural.

sorry if that bothers you.

nothing personal

oh, but i love natalie butler btw, so i guess if your a girl you should probably know that as well. or guy. i guess..

merry christmas stalkers!

 HAHAHAH! I love youu!:)

 :)

btdub. if youre following my shit. and i dont know you. get to know me. this is my fucking corner. not a public mural.

sorry if that bothers you.

nothing personal

oh, but i love natalie butler btw, so i guess if your a girl you should probably know that as well. or guy. i guess..

merry christmas stalkers!

<3love her

i cant get you out of my head:)

i dont mind:)

alaynabrianne:

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I’d appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I’ll bet you’ll feel nuts
Yes I’m Siskel, yes I’m Ebert and you’re getting two thumbs up
You’ve had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you’re out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin’ horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means “Small Craft Advisory”
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I’m Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I’ll show you mine “Tool Time” you’ll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we’ll do it doggy style so we can both watch “X-Files”

Do it now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin’ horny now

You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin’ horny now

 lolz, you would!

agh :) really good mood!

but i have my bros surgery at 4 so im kind of scared :/
i know he will be okay, but hes scared. and hes always been the stronger of the two of us

somehow, after being around her, iknow it will be okay though

ill post updates…if i get to it

talk to me if you want to, ill probably just not sleep altogether

most amazing girl ever <3 and somehow, i cant stop thinking about you:)

maybe im just tired is playing in my mind on permanent repeat and now i just dont give a shit

i threw up.
im a wreck

i dont know how this happend

hah, of corse that happened.

because i cant speak my mind at all without making things just die

and now im alone

with a knife in my hand

and even the knife is too good for me

words of advice when your doing secret santas:
its not smart to give knives to depressed children

im fucking dieing today

ive been craving cigarettes, and to be just fucked up and i have this headache and now im pretty sure im going to throw up

my mood couldnt be better

i fucking love it

really, i love my fucking dad and everyone and life and god everything is awesome

my day was good by the way, thank you for asking.

yes i feel completely empty and yeah, im pretty sure im just completely fucking gone.

and youre all i have

and what the fuck can i say to you to make this better?

like how do i be honest to you without telling you he truth?

and how do i get you to listen to me and not run away and fight like we always do?

this is terrible, and i had to tell you. because its eating me away and you needed to know.

so i guess thats the consequence

being completely alone :(

i dont think ill talk tomorrow
theres nothing for me to say and all i do is ruin everything and make you feel like shit
i guess you still love me
i love you

and my brothers surgery is two days from now, and im scared.
and i guess i never told anyone that cause they never asked how i felt about it

and i just have no plan at this point. like i dont know how to talk to anyone
i have like 3 people to talk to, and i cant talk to any of them
so i have to go through all of this alone

and i have to put up this front like im okay and that im just fine and i am just breaking down and there is just nothing left of me at all

im shaking because im numb and cant feel anything

i think the people who i do talk to are alot better off without me.

i cant vent anymore.

no one is listening

no one who would read it is going to give a fuck

and anyone who does actually give a fuck will be mad because this will just look like im drawing attention to myself and that im blowing things out of preportion. that would make me an ass

i love the way that works.

im not sleeping
but ill get in bed i guess

maybe unwrap my present

maybe hope for a good day

maybe ill hope for a day i can see you

merry fucking christmas world.

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?772795-W76BxOgX1e 

i doubt anyone beside like 2 people even look at this, but on the off chance im wrong. here you go

i feel really alone

Read More →

im not going to tell you that im completely okay, because id be lieing to you

it seems like things fuck up x123459 everytime you close your eyes

shes the only one there is to hold on to right now i guess:/

i guess thats okay, i just cant stand this much longer. i cant sleep. at all. i hope i can just pass out tomorrow, i want to be hospitalized. or wake up out of a coma right before christmas. I think thats a rather odd wish. but, who knows.

i didnt see that coming today

and it was such a great day, i just woke up and felt a little better.

was a little late to the hosa meeting. no big deal.

put all my stuff up.

get ready to start english with katie hart the baller.

and, oh yeah, your best friend is in juvi. just btw.

i guess i really wanted to just pretend that this was good for him

thats what they tell you in therapy. everything will have a positive outcome. everything that happens is for a reason

tell me whats the positive outcome of a destroyed future?

what about adding on more to his depression that he tries to hide from everyone but me?

hes fucking alone and i cant help at all. so where is my relaxing cup of tea?

but. i got over it. idk, i went to the bathroom. cried a bit. and went back and stared at a whap dbq.

i figured throughout the day that maybe i can just get over the fact i wont see him for a while. and maybe this will be the end of the fucking letdown cycle

4th period. katarina isnt here. so maybe im thinking, oh yeah, shes depressed about how she has no friends and she took another day off and ill stop by her house this weekend and cheer her up.

katarina was daignosed with Iga nephropathy when she was a tot in finland.

shes complaining of pain in her lower left and right quadrant. which would indicate a problem with her kidneys.

not all together uncommon for her in her condition, but something that should be checked out. doctors did an x-ray and a cbc with a full metabolic study, lytes, the works. as well as a urine sample. They say the most likely case is that she has a tumor.

so as im thinking my day cant get any worse, my best friends in jail. i now have another best friend who might have a tumor in her kidney and if so will either need a new kidney, or potentially suffer from pain, as well as inadequate blood filtering causeing urea to build up in her body which can destroy body organs one by one, or she needs a transplant. in her condition, a transplant may give her 5-10. assuming she doesnt reject it, or the damages arent severe enough.

knowing me, im probably going to want to give her a kidney if she asks me.

i keep mine nice, i never drank much.

of corse my parents would never let me make that decision, so im let to watch her suffer or die at the hand of god.

i guess it could be worse.

Iga nephropathy patients dont live long. they also need transplants in 90% of cases

they didnt tell her that. I would would never be able to tell a friend that she might not live a very long life.

so. what now? do i pretend everything is okay and try to write an english essay, or do I cope and sleep and try and put a label on what is happening to my world.

#1.

Luke is gone.
Tim is gone.
Cody is gone.
Chris just got back.
Katarina might be very sick.
Me? im just watching it all happen. thank god i got out of that fucking mess. and now i can just see what its turned into

ill go over to my baby’s house tomorrow, do something fun i hope. get my mind off of things.

saturday im going to see what i can do, katarina really wants someone to talk to, so ill see her too.

sunday, that church thing. ill invite chris i think, if his parents will let him.

spectacular week.

how was yours?

:(

kinda lonely