You have won, O Galilean

I can’t feel anything.

All if these words and yet I can’t feel any emotion

That’s what my emotional protection does to me. Whenever something is to much to take, I simply go into emotional shock.

And now I have insomnia again

so tired

Sean is tired.

You might be mad if I did that

you’re not going to be able to understand me.

not anymore

i dont even remember how long ive been sober

but probably like..a year and a half maybe

everything seems so much different now, seeing how much pain you can do to someone when you’re not the one giving it anymore

seeing how from one second of something being okay to another a complete disaster

watching the people you once knew pass you by, their faces becoming nude blobs that you cant help but feel nothing towards

if i’ve learned anything it would be this

there really isn’t a right way to do something

but there will always be millions of wrong ways of doing something

so maybe how i work isn’t right

maybe the fact that my desire to be fully and completely happy surpasses my desire to cover up my struggles makes me weak, or strange.

sometimes i wonder the same thing.

but in the end, i don’t depend on anything. and nothing owns me.

i don’t want something to forget, id rather have something to remember.

and i’d rather not waste my time running, and fucking myself up just to try and find answer, or to hide from the answer right in front of me.

that will never be me again. and it cant be.

so don’t ask me to be weak for you. do what you want, and let me figure shit out my way

Está noche sera mía

Hi natalie