fuck the world that won’t love you back
i want to talk about shit on here, but i don’t know what to say
today my emotional barrier almost broke down, at a red light all sad and just this clusterfuck of emotions all rushing into my numb body, and i couldn’t stand it.
went to lunch with sarah and elena, i guess it was nice to see people more
took her to get another piercing, and then after school went to luke’s again, i’ve almost convinced myself that i live there, and it seems more comfortable of a place to be right now than in my house.
i just don’t want to be anywhere, or do anything, or say anything.
and then ill always burst out and talk on and on followed by abrupt silence, and ill just talk to people i don’t even talk to that much, just because at that moment i can’t be alone.
this doesn’t even feel real, like it hasn’t completely established in my mind yet what has happened, or what has been happening.
i don’t know what else to say, i’m trying to produce music, but its tough right now, and i trying to get my mind off of you. and then my dad has been home for a week now with a catheter, and i hope hes getting better. To make it worse theres the fucking surgery, just out of no where, huge fucking tumor, removing it, results will come back and they’ll have more to say, its like everything melts down, just like it did last summer.
just like last spring
just like the winter before
and the winter before
and the spring before that
i want to tell you that im okay, but id be lying, i don’t know what i feel, and i’m tired of feeling like a whiny little bitch about my problems, so i’ll end it.
idk why im posting this anyways
i just needed to release, or to feel something.
Happy fucking easter
if i dont have a private demo up tonight, hit me very hard
i like spending my nights sharpening lukes samurai sword, and listening to dubstep.
also making cinnamon rolls, and burning my finger for being so anxious.
i really don’t post much on here compared to some people.
which i guess doesn’t really matter
idk, i try and talk about shit that’s real, and stuff that i’m going through. but recently i’ve just been going through so much shit, that i don’t want to talk.
I guess i pushed people away and such
sorry about that.
i’m learning nynorsk/Bokmål
just cause i want to be tri-lingual, and it seems like a lot of fun.
but who knows.
jeg heter sean, og jeg har det bra.
jeg er amerikansk.
stieg larsson, the author of the girl with the dragon tattoo series died in 2004 after he came home from a publishing meeting that guaranteed that his books would be pressed across the world taking he and his wife out of the brink of poverty. Excited, he ran home to his apartment, and took the stairs because the elevator was broken. sadly he died of a heart attack before he could tell his wife of the amazing news and would never write another book in the series.
Yes I am alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it’s because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself